The power of little poems



Have you heard of McCune Albright Syndrome? You have a one in a million chance of getting it, and it is said to be incurable. At 19, I found out I was one of those “ones”.

The symptoms are sudden and strange. I began to lose my peripheral vision and notice my shoe size and height increasing, at pace. A tumour grew into my optic nerves, and made a growth hormone that deformed my features and made me: a fully grown woman, grow.

To halt the blindness and growth, I had brain surgery, twice, within 3 months; then radiotherapy, gamma knife surgery, chemotherapy, trial treatments and now, take thyroid and adrenal replacement drugs twice a day, every day. Before all this, I liked poetry, but didn’t need it.

After all this, I’ve needed poetry.
I write poetry because, when I write, the scale of things comes into my grasp, under my control. I cannot “fix” myself with a poem, but I can get perspective, correct some of the warping particular to my condition and its treatment.

And so I keep writing poetry. It’s become a ritual I turn to when nothing else works, like a kind of religion. I’ve chosen a few poems that I’ve used as prayers, to help me through the last year and hope they will, at the start of this year, be some reminder of the help that writing things down can be.

And be warned, my poems here are small but dark. This is because they are, for me, as well as prayers: cul-de-sacs of pain, after which I can better turn back and move on; making more of my life, having followed these darker feelings, on paper, to their natural dead end…



No. 1

Just one prayer
To answer, to become.

Deus grew higher.
As if to see it.

And the prayer
Diminished. Next

To other questions.


No.2

I started without rules
I stumbled into this day
I was all knitted to its
Sugars and salts.

Pilgrim was a hope word
In the morning;
Scrambled by night into
Lost hours, and I tasted it,
Almost dead.


No 3.

Wonder is timed
The rhythm is taught.

When snapped it dies.
Until the next time.

My steps are too slow,
Wind me up again.


No. 4

Upright, on the board,
Right place in the wave, maintain
My balance.

Tall board cracks
Under maw of foam, bites my face
Smacks out all air.

Empty, hope the next wave is small,
Please, Hydrocortisone tide.



No 5.

Now the flood, now the fortune
Or the shallows.

Take the current, float to future
Or stay here.


No. 6

In this life, we are born strong
But we grow fear.

The search for our body
Continues.

Can ritual give it shape
Once more. A walking?



No. 7

I’m afraid of health,
Without a cover, without a part

I don’t know my health self, yet.
Can I make it laugh?


No. 8.

In the war against the body
My mind has lost every battle
So far.



No.9

The trees shed
Their leaves
Without shame,
To the cold
They glare back,
Let mine fall.



No. 10

My time in health was
Short and deep.

I saw it then, I see it now,
From above: a ruin etched

In the crops, impossible to know
How it got there or why it fell.



No.11

My dream said she could see
A new life, with little

Ones, like little suns, tiny stars,
Their own

Planets rolling about the sky, their sky, with
Me a moon, but a moon.



No. 12.

I’m walking towards it, but it
Grows fainter under my watch.

A light, a movement in the
Darkness, bring it closer.

Diary of a head of hair

Today I wrote a few notes outside the record shop overlooking the dual carriageway, in Watford, on a grey day in December that could have been a grey day in September, so warm was it. 

I sat outside with a consoling cup of coffee, and ears full of soul-building rhythms from the speaker. Thank god I’m here, thought I, thank god I had the courage to follow my feet to here, when I should be somewhere else, let my brain in my aching skull, under my thinning hair, just sit here, for as long as these songs take to build me back a new soul.

I had no paper, so I wrote on my phone, felt good, consoling like the coffee, to feel the words dropping onto the screen, see that there was some structure coming through which I could use to prop the day on. 

Hair loss I 

The trees show their skins

Without shame, to the cold

They glare back, when we

Hide.

Hair loss II

A shedding of hair is akin to 

A shedding of complacency

When it was there, we noted

It not, when it is gone, weep

We it’s going, alone, without

A cover for our head, our 

Bidding chip for love and more.

Hair loss III

Should I keep a lock of it in a 

Tin in the Watford soil, a relic

Of my time on this earth, past?

Rewiring human bias

In view of Cop 26 – Reflecting on another existential challenge to humanity

Diversity is the ‘what’; inclusion is the ‘how

It seems important, in any analysis of or attempts at inclusion, to understand this distinction. Diversity alone is not inclusion. You can have quotas that tick all the diversity boxes, but without a culture of inclusion, everyone stays in their respective box, as it gravitates towards similar boxes…

We had nothing in common

She wasn’t the right fit

Like-minded

All the above are common phrases and signal our need (in the English-speaking world at least) to belong, our need for both community and commonality, and this need has driven and still drives almost every human (and mammalian) endeavour.

In order to become more inclusive, we need to acknowledge that inclusivity is the most fundamental, and most needed shift in human behaviour, ever. It’s as big as climate change – in fact, it’s probably the answer to climate change.

Humans have built their world on the proviso of exclusivity – behind the castle walls, sharing food and safety, or outside, trying to get in. And so, we have fought, since time immemorial, to the death, for fear of letting down the drawbridge to the unknown, the wild, the outsider.

This primal, now digitalized human trait is holding us back – the urge to be one of a tribe of similar people – the need to get in and ‘fit in’.  For inclusion to truly happen, it’s essential to venture out as well as to welcome in – to explore uncommon as well as common ground without expecting or driving to similarity or even solidarity.

We all have to try to go against that gravitational pull of the similar, not only in accepting difference but in actively seeking it out and striving to maintain it. The difference is not the problem, it’s our primal fear of it that is. If we can’t face our fear, then we will either become a homogenized glob of humanity on an otherwise devasted earth or, we’ll break into more and more granular groups and anarchy will reign. And what about the middle ground? Let’s hope it exists..

How far do we have left to go?

We are only just beginning to understand the nature of the problem, let alone the solution.

Inclusion is still a brand differentiator. That’s surely not right. Inclusion should be brand hygiene….

The ad industry, to name but one, has a chance to act as an inclusion crucible, to make inclusion an irreversible reaction in society

Now, even as late in the game as 2021, brands are still trying on ‘diversity’ for size, whether it be gender, ethnicity, sexuality, physicality, neurology – and it shows –  we think, ‘Ah, they are trying that out, beating the diversity drum’. But inclusion is the ‘how” behind true diversity, the culture that should sit behind it, and it too often stops at quotas and billboards.

How do we get there?

This will take time, it’s entirely unnatural and unprecedented. It helps to have equal opportunities, bias training, accessible options, etc, but the shift needs to grow through society in both directions, everyone making the change, at their own level, in every aspect of their interaction with others, not the leaders and money-makers “investing” in it, dishing it out to boost pay per clicks.

Step 1. Agree to disagree

Here’s my suggestion – take inclusion to mean difference, the ultimate antidote to homogeneity/tribalism/group-think. And not only difference, but dissent, and using dissent as a constructive force. If people are included without having to slot into a pre-prescribed culture/side – then innovation, change, progress, evolution can happen…

This will involve a departure from both the primal urge and the digitalized pressures to conform and conflate our personal identity with that of the group. 

And so, for example, on the humble scale of the marketeer, trying to leave a cultural wake – he/she must acknowledge his/her ability to contribute to the problem as well as the cure. An agency should be made up of a diverse group of people who feel that they are paid to be themselves, rather than a diverse group of people chiselled to the same lines.

Step 2. Rewire the primal need for self-preservation, before it’s too late

The next decade, however successful COP 26 might be, will be beset by catastrophe, scale TBC. Building resilience – and by that I mean, empathy networks, wherever and whenever possible, is as urgent a need as the shift from carbon. Without this empathetic resilience, these ‘empathy networks’, when the going gets tough, the necessary partnerships between peoples, classes, countries, will disintegrate, and in turn disrupt our climate protection efforts.

Derrick Bell, in his science fiction novel ‘Space Traders’, hypothesizes about what a post-civil rights, equal, America would do when aliens asked, in return for restoring Earth back to American control, if they could have all the Black Americans. Guess what?
 
Without hesitation, all the Black Americans found themselves marshalled into an alien mothership. Again.
 
It’s always tempting, as with climate change, to see inclusion as a decision, something that happens in one direction, at one moment in time – managers to staff, leaders to subjects, corporations to customers, preachers to congregations, with a clear hierarchy of responsibility – but ultimately, anything that ultimately affects everyone needs to involve everyone, and keep involving everyone.

Step 3. Irreversible reaction

We need to get to a place where life and work are so inclusive in their nature, that the reaction cannot be reversed, under any conditions.

Has this happened before? No. This is not something humans have ever done before, this is beyond equal rights arguments, this is at a more fundamental, cognitive level, and maybe the biggest leap in the evolution of the global human brain we’ve yet seen. Yes, we’ve evolved to collaborate and trade with outsiders, but this has always, at least in the dominant cultures,  been on the premise of trade and ownership, and hierarchy – ‘this is ours’ and ‘that is yours’ ‘our people’ and ‘your people’. That worked, to secure human dominance, up to a point, but now it is degrading our lives and spilling over to the planet.

Communism, religion, capitalism, even, promised to eradicate such damaging intra-human barriers but found that new ones superseded them, despite or because of our inherent gravitation towards hierarchy, tribalism, or whatever you choose to name this urge we have to come in from the cold – when we know the warmth is finite. 

Towards inclusive actions and reactions

·  Make more of an effort to accommodate and explore disagreement

·  Go beyond caring about how diverse something looks

·  Focus on how included everyone feels i.e

Spend as much time thinking about empathy as we do about bias

Hoping to write more on empathy vs bias soon…

To meditate or not to meditate

Between the ages of 7 and 12, I went to a school which turned out to be somewhat cultish, where every lesson began with meditation and chanting. For years after I left I didn’t meditate, to me it was just another school subject on my boredom list, like times-tables with with your eyes shut.

But when I was 19, I got ill, having been happy and fit and young, I suddenly couldn’t keep up with my peers, couldn’t get drunk and take drugs and share their trips. I found life generally an uncomfortable and hostile place to be.

And that’s when I really started to meditate. It won’t be news to any of you that meditation is a good thing, it’s so talked about that some newspapers have already been there, done that, moved on – I read somewhere “Meditation is so last year, breathing is what’s hot right now”.

How many of you meditate? There’s probably as many types of meditation as there are people who do it, and the numbers keep rising. All I know is that, for me, it works, it fixes problems in my body and mind and when they’re fixed, I tend to take the credit for myself, down a pint of mixed salty-sweet popcorn and break-up with meditation, “It’s not you, it’s me!” I say as I leave the film half way through and head out into the night.

And then, soon enough, I start to feel less and less healthy and able to cope, out in the cold. After nearly 20 years of falling in and out of love with meditation, what I do know is that I’m always at my best when I take a moment, at the beginning and end of every day and, ideally, before and after every meeting or task.

Finding quiet spaces in unlikely places4247053925_4c0ba83c72

Sometimes, if I’m out and about, I go into the loo (toilet), put down the seat, relax, feel my feet on the ground and my head gently balanced, like I’m being pulled up on puppet-strings. With this feeling of being held, I thank life for what it’s given me and will give me, whatever that is, and all the people and things in it, whoever they are, before letting my  mind go blank.

It’s then that I see if I can just go analogue, pure sweet, thought-free analogue for 5 seconds or 5 minutes, sometimes I might provide some white noise via a mantra or two, however long it takes to feel that gratitude and stillness again.

I’ve experimented with all sorts of meditation – starting with the Indian type, based on Sanskrit mantras, moved on to colour therapy and what’s called autogenic training, a form of self-hypnosis – in short, I’ve dabbled, dabbled in all sorts.

I don’t have a go-to type, it depends on what my mood is and what I need to get from the meditation. I’d argue that there isn’t a Mr or Mrs Right for meditators, everyone can find some kind of match in one or two or many. Whatever works for you.

Ingredients of a successful relationship

When I say ‘work’, I don’t mean happily ever after, but I do mean, over time, meditation can make your world generally OK, whatever challenges you and your meditating you, face together.

If everything is hunky dory already, then maybe you won’t see the point, or you’ll struggle to start meditation/struggle to keep it going, as I do; but I’d like to take this opportunity to remind myself and you that it’s best not to break up with meditation for these two reasons:

  • Habits are hard to make and easy to brake. There’re ALWAYS great times to be had in your meditating head, however happy your not-meditating head is.
  • The more you do it, the better it is – When you’re down or sick or those around you are, there’s no-one better equipped to help you than your calm, meditating self – and that meditating self will get stronger and stronger the more you meditate.

If you’d like to speak to me about meditation I’d love to hear you thoughts in the comments. Also, if you’re struggling with illness, I’d also be happy to share my experience of therapeutic meditation.

Many thanks everyone for your undivided attention!!

If you have 5 more mins

Try this simple autogenic exercise that’s been my dear friend these past 15 years:

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Find out more about meditation:

 

 

[Image source: Koncrete Pigs Webcomic]

Why Naples?

So, first of all, what is Naples? Naples is a collection of grid-like streets, planned and overwritten with graffiti spray, pocketed with decaying books and oozing tomatoes.
The drill of mopeds connects the Neapolitans and rattles tourists. Everything is a prelude to some form of mozzarella’d pause.
“See non ora quando?”, “If not now when?”. Say it! Do it! Eat it! Move it! As the horns line up and drop like dominos. As the bee-like cars buzz busily in queues, wishing they were mopeds.

Pizza pizza pasta pizza pizza

The guide books claim to know which pizzerias to go to, wildly recommending this top five or that top 11. In fact, the more time you spend in any Italian city, the more clear you are on the enormity and impossibility of classifying ‘the best’ pizzeria.

MARIO IOVINELLA ©
In Naples, a pizza is like a person and all have the essential DNA. The tongue-twisting question of which pizzeria was the best would involve testing every pizza that pizzeria has ever made and then comparing that to all the pizzas ever made in all the pizzerias since the first pizza was made, since well over a hundred years ago!
No. Much better to simply head out and eat and get ready for good and possibly great pizza in any pizzeria that has survived the demands of hungry Neapolitans.

Life after pizza

But there is much more to Naples. There’s art inside churches and outside, in between the writings on the walls. There’s bits of Pompeii in the Museo Archeologico – egg poachers and colanders and bowls for figs, wondering why they haven’t been used for 2000 years.

colander
And then there’s the sea, there’s always the sea, the only thing that cannot be stained with graffiti or tomato blood. Look out to the islands and bobbing mussel baskets from the top of Castel dell’Ovo, so named after the poet laureate of ancient Rome, Virgil, left an egg there. It must still be in tact, for when it cracks Naples yolk will be washed away forever….
…Then walk down to the harbour that skirts the castle, a lovely, tranquil place to catch your breath and eat fish, at a stage in your trip when you’re too bloated with pizza to eat any more until suppertime.

castel-dell-ovo-napoli
Many tourists do Naples the injustice of treating it as a mere comma in a sentence about Pompeii. But having given it just a fraction of the love it deserves, we found ourselves heading nearer to Vesuvius with the heard, an hour down the coast, pretty sure, but not absolutely certain, about the current state of mind of perhaps the most devastatingly capricious volcano the human race has ever seen.

Do it like a Roman

The best bit of Pompeii + Vesuvius turned out to be the 6 cubicles of the ‘red light district’ where so-called ‘Lupanar’ (House of the Wof-Bitches) served a full menu of options, with every cupboard-like room offering its own signature dish, if the paintings above the various doors are to be taken at face value 😉

pompeii_mural_large
Having sampled these, the Pompeian middle classed homini would, no doubt be hungry and maybe a little bit sweaty. Conveniently, there were and are a string of fast food counters, much like a plastic-free Soho, lining the road to the jaw dropping public baths. Here, whether you’re in hot, cold or tepidarium, every wall is frescoed and all the water was cleaned with a mindbogglingly innovative Roman hydraulic filter mechanism evident through bits of exposed piping here and there.

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Pre-trip planning

Although Pompeii’s definitely worth the trip, be warned – several of the villas and the main circus seemed to be under restoration in March 2019, a fact that’s hard to find on the web, probably to protect the tour operators. Remember also, that it’s worth checking the weather and even giving the ticket office at Vesuvius a call before setting out on a climb. We were taken there only to find that the peak was shrouded in fog…

Vesuvius crater panorama-1024x428
But nonetheless, tick tick tick, we had been to Vesuvius and Pompeii and seen the lucky penises (or should I say phalli?) graffitied on the walls. We were informed that, to the lusty Pompeians, the phallus held no taboo. It was, and still is, a universal symbol of health and wealth. You may wonder why, in modern Naples and the surrounding Campania, there are bunches of ‘chillies’ hanging up everywhere. They are, in fact, pointed phalli, shaved into chillies by the prudish Holy Roman Catholic church in the 6th century….

cornetto-pepper_orig

Back to Naples for afternoon treats

And so we let Naples have us again and filled out stomachs and eyes and ears with more ‘soddisfazione’ than we thought possible. The city has a way of making you somehow forever hungry and forever full at the same time – making you moan in protest before sweetening your outrage into sensuously carefree joy at everything – a gorgeous church or the heavenly, infinite layers of crispy pastry that hold the soft, sweet ricotta heart of any sfogliatella.

Sfoglatella

Where to stay?

Anywhere, near the centro-storico, somewhere near the Piazza Dante – where it’s chilled and relatively chic, yet gritty and fascinating – that washed out timeless elegance that Naples does best.

Piazza D

Passage to the India Club

A review of The India Club on London’s Strand

It’s easy, as you walk down the Strand, to be fooled by the enormous Edwardian facades and the sweep of Alwdych’s crescent, into thinking you are in London. Don’t be. You are somewhere in India, of course, and it’s shortly after 1950 and Krishna Menon, India’s first High Commissioner, Prime Minister Nehru and Lady Mountbatten have just agreed the menu – everything you’d expect, good decent, honest dhosas, something for everyone, everyone welcome.

Courtesy-of-Caroline-Bond-img777

We were walking along, past Kings College’s wide, depressing 1970s glass, I was looking for a large sign, a window, an entrance, a door and all I saw was a discrete little black board, as inconspicuous as possible. Next to it, on our right, was a shiny fuchsia linoleum staircase  – slightly surprised at our being there but happy to show us up, none the less. 

After this point, the year 2019 becomes indistinct, like an old polaroid left out on a hot park-bench, and everything goes a little bit orange, a little bit warm and blurry and you start to breathe the air of the Raj, a past that seems to have kept it’s door open at 143 The Strand – everything forgiven, open and yet only for the lucky ones who see the blackboard and trust the tangerine stairs – the way up to a secret realm, like platform 9 and three quarters at Kings Cross.

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Will self observes: “The India Club is beautifully old-fashioned – and not like an Indian restaurant in 1950s Britain, for there were hardly any of those, but like one in 1950s India. ” I disagree, it is not like 1950s India, it is 1950s India, I know, I have been there, I have been to the India Club. 

Enough said – let’s look around, explore this rare corner of Time that has escaped Death, for now. Let’s get a move-on in case the bell strikes midnight and all we find is another empty Pizza Express next to the empty one that’s next door. 

Time for some mughlai chicken

And so, to the bustling upstairs restaurant. During the day, you can look out through the sash windows onto the Strand at lunchtime, but at night, you are thoroughly protected from 2019 London, the formica tables seem close and more glossy and the yellow walls warmer and more magical.

Tables

This is a Bistro, in the true sense of the word – fast and tasty. Within 20 minutes of ordering our Mughlai chicken and Bhuna lamb with saag dhal, okra, coconut rice, naan and of course popadoms with mango chutney and onion slices – it was there, quickly, with no ceremony, a smile and an answer to my father’s question:

‘How do you make okra at home?’ – to which our white-coated waiter-cook replied – ‘Simple, boil for 4 minutes, add salt and mustard oil, stir and it’s even better if you stir it and smash it like a mashed potato’.

Time-out gives it 4 stars and I whole-stomachly agree. I get the sense that, much like the formica tables, the flavours haven’t changed. And if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

the-india-club1

And thank Shiva the Club has evaded various attempts to ‘bring it up to date’, as William Gould a professor of Indian history at the University of Leeds, who helped to get the Club a “listed building” status. “We are extremely pleased… the Club shouldn’t just be seen as the site of a connection to the Indian League but that it is also of significant cultural importance to the area, and the South Asian community of this country as a whole, and beyond that. ” Indeed the founder of Cobra beer himself Shashi Tharoor, among 26,000  others, is a patron and comrade in the war to save this modest haven of 20th century good will.

 

“Give me your hands if we be friends”

 Review of A Midsummer Night’s Dream at The Globe,

And so I’m wafted along the ‘Wobbly Bridge’ with London twinkling all around me, a round dream the size of a globe. Tonight’s production has me under its spell, that feeling of complete helpless joy, the stuff of carnival and bacchanal, so loud and yet so soft. I’ll go anywhere, believe any trick now, after all life is but a dream…

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This year’s production of MSND at the Globe Theatre is a carnival themed beam of joy that should light up every heart on the planet. It passed the Globe’s acid test – made standing, for 3 hours not only bearable but thoroughly enjoyable, for we hundreds of ‘groundlings‘ from the four corners of the real globe. It made us all feel newly alive and happy to be in the company of this pop-legend play, as if we’d all been drugged by Puck,  Shakespeare’s  most mischievous fairy. And he only charges a fiver for a trip!

As Michelle Terry, the Artistic Director says, “Let’s reimagine what is possible when individuals come together across difference, in a shared space, a shared light, a shared experience”.

And indeed we did. Thanks to Jim Fortune’s ebullient score for the Hackney Colliery brass band and various other playful tricks:

  • The ‘Moonshine-Lamp’ was supplied by a real, live, tipsy audience member
  • Puck was a part shared by the whole cast, darting among us in ‘PUCK’-labelled Tees
  • Master Quince, the director of the am. dram play-within-the-play, was an MC, DJ complete with carnival float.

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We feel like anything could happen; indeed, we might suddenly find ourselves onstage or falling in love with the person in front of us and out of love with our supposedly ‘real’ lover.

MSND was written over the same two years that Shakespeare wrote both Romeo and Juliet and Love’s Labour’s Lost. And so, during this period, we see him lead us into Love’s labyrinth of dramatic possibility, from farce to tragedy, with MSND a trippy sleep, somewhere deep in a daze between the two

The text was jerked up with improv that shouldn’t work but does, marvellously. A handful of people left, maybe they were tourists or purists who’d come to see men in tights pretending to be Tudors, “Shame on them” I hear Shakespeare tut, this is how it’s meant to feel – lost in the woods, the magical psychedelia that panic brings, the uncontrollable fits of fantasy, the rabbit holes that our waking brains close off – This is Theatre, and tonight it drew us in, showed us ourselves, yet again, in a new form: unimaginable, fantastical, farcical, ridiculous even, but somehow real and true and totally disarming, totally free from gender, race, sexuality – rainbow upon rainbow of sound and word and dance. As the inimitable Bottom says:

“I have had a dream, past the wit of man to say what the dream was. Man is an ass if he go about to expound this dream”.

Screen Shot 2019-09-20 at 14.19.48 Bottom on the left and Titania on the right

And so, if you are a half-assed critic/punter who sniffs and questions all sorts of things, like the fact that we were all asked to sing “Dancing in the moonlight” and there were jokes about Jamaica, and all sorts of ‘woke’ extras where added – know that this is exactly how the play was performed in Shakespeare’s day and for centuries after.

Indeed, shortly after the first production, it was put on as an opera and was later reshaped for 18th century ears by Mendelssohn. And so it’s right and proper for the sound-track to be what we are listening to now – The play is nothing if not eccentric, new, Avant-Guard, decidedly ‘outre’, with two cheeky fairy fingers up to the rules. Indeed, after one of the earliest productions the chief producer was put in the stocks wearing Bottom’s ass’s head because it was judged ‘too bawdy and licentious’.

This play will survive being sliced up and reassembled in whatever parts we need at any given point in time. It will always retain its integrity, as if by magic – anything goes except the boring and the unimaginative – these two are unforgivable and must be avoided at all costs.

I would say, however, that it was all light and no darkness, that dark madness that the play is capable of, as we’ve seen in this year’s somewhat flat, though eery, production in Regent’s Park, and the Young Vic’s austere 2017 production , where the stage was mud and the fairies tramps:

Image result for 2017 Midsummer Night's Dream, Young Vic

But maybe this focus on the bright and jolly interpretation is because we need a lift, we need an antidote to bad news, we need some reasons to be cheerful.

Although light was the major note, we had just enough darkness to keep us grounded, with the added African magic spells and Mardi Gras threads. These chime with the historical and contemporary use of this play as a tool for defiance, put on by oppressed cultures, in challenging circumstances –

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First Nations oppressed in America, Polish Jews in Auschwitz,  Black South Africans during Apartheid and, more recently,  Australian Aboriginals as part of the landmark Festival of Dreaming in 1997.

And now, in these days of climate change and climate strikes, the play reveals a new depth – Titania’s speech about nature being topsy-turvy – this was the moment, the passage or two in every Shakespeare play, that speaks directly to you, in your exact moment in time, and we are in 2019, when ‘toxic odours’ do indeed pervade our globe and the weather is too inconsistent to say if it’s winter or spring:

“The spring, the summer The chiding autumn, angry winter change

Their wonted liveries; and the mazed world,

By their increase, knows not which us which.”

The harvest at the time Shakespeare was writing had been one of the worst in living Elizabethan memory, and, in those times, a bad harvest meant grinding hardship, hunger and general wretchedness through the winter and beyond.

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[Illumination from ‘Hours of Henry VIII’ (c. 1500), The Morgan Library & Museum, MS H.8, fol. 3v.]

And so, as we have now managed to wreak on ourselves, “a progeny of evils”,  we can perhaps share at least the feeling of vulnerability and dread, as 21st century Extinction Rebellion Elizabethans, that the original hungry and dejected audience must have had when they heard these lines than any other generation.

The rest of the performances seem to have come and gone, as a fantastical bopping dream, with perhaps the liveliest, most charming MSND lovers the globe has seen. Helena and Hermia’s catty face-off was truly brilliant and realistic. There can be a tendency for these two to be wedge parts, propping up the others, but here they shone out,  front and centre.

Image result for 2019 Midsummer Night's Dream, Globe

If the play was a glittering carnival float, we were on it, with them – friends welcomed into their clap-along, ding-a-ling, sing along good time.

This was a spectacle of unapologetic panto, of irresistible misrule, where a bright flower-crusted turquoise bin serves as a bower fit for Her Majesty, Titania. And who knows? Our glittery Faery Queene might invite us in for a wee cuddle and a sprinkle?Image result for Midsummer Nights Dream, Globe 2019

There was a nod to Peter Hall’s ground-breaking, sell-out ground-breaking production,

Image result for Peter Brook - midsummer night's dream, Queen Elizabeth as Titaniawhere Judy Dench’s Titania, queen of the fairies was dressed as the 16th century Queen Elizabeth II. In this Globe production we see Titania a panto version of Hippolyta, her alter ego-Queen of Athens: dressed as our very own hunting shooting fishing, Queen Elizabeth, dragging a newly shot Balmoral stag across the stage as Theseus, her husband – camp and pink in his Duke of Edinburgh army regalia, and even camper and OTTer as his alter ego, Oberon, king of the fairies – one of the most fluffy and flippant Oberons we’ve ever seen, jollies us along, giving the impression that he’s an old sport in a care-home – somewhat ‘away with the fairies’.

All this and somehow, respectfully. I must say, however that some of the lines were lost in the daze of bright colours and music, that the poetry inherent in the lines was sometimes overdressed and bloated by the excesses of this modern production. As the Guardian’s review notes, ‘You get the sense of wired teenagers needing to sleep off a particularly wild weekend.’

That said, I looked up at the stars and at my fellow trippers and thought “We are laughing, We are actually giggling from tingling knees up, standing here, laugh-sway-whistling along…”

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And so were they, probably, 500 years ago, at this play, and then, like us, they left the brightness of their piqued imaginations and returned to the grey world of frowns and people who aren’t dreamers or dreaming, who haven’t been drugged by buzzy bee Pucks. The central line was a massive come down. Time to go, go back to sleep….

A Midsummer Night’s Dream runs at the Globe Theatre until the 13th October 2019.

Book your trip here
If you’re new to Shakespeare or MDSND and you’re wondering what the Puck this is all about – I’d thoroughly recommend the Arden Shakespeare version 

Find out more about life in Elizabethan England:

Once upon a time in Hollywood….

..is a fable told by the Homer of modern cinema, Quentin Tarantino. With a pantheon of Hollywood gods, heroes and harpies, he weaves a dreamlike tapestry in vivid, acid-dipped tangerine, chocolate, fuchsia and blue, bringing it home with the blood red signature we have come to expect from all things Tarantinoed.
It’s as perfect a vehicle for Brad and Leo as you’ll see. Two actors, perfectly balanced on either side of a ’66 cream Cadillac. They reel you in, you are totally thrilled that they let you hitch their ride. You are safe with them, they tell a good story.

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Brad keeps everything on the road with his cheeky charm and rusty biceps. Leo draws you in, fools you, again, into thinking he was born to play this part and only this part, forget Gilbert Grape, Romeo, The Great Gatsby or Wolf on Wall Street, this is the one. He is the not-so-has-been cowboy actor Rick Dalton, the fictitious star of TV western ‘Bounty’ that Quentin wants him to be. The year is 1969. It’s summertime, “The goddam hippies are everywhere”, and they’re higher and darker than they’ll ever be again…
I watched this, and heard it’s brilliant, Neil Diamond-studded sound-track with my mother, who’s of the right vintage to remember it all, as though the 60 years between were just another LSD trip. She said she was moved, which is as sound a seal of approval as you’ll find, she’s been there, lived that time, time when a cigarette was your index finger and a maraschino 🍒 was the definition of ever so tacky decadence.
If you’ve not seen OUATIH yet, stop now/burn after reading, the next paragraph dramatically spoils the fun, but is a must-read once you’ve seen ‘OUATIH’.

Sharon
And so we come to Sharon Tate, played by Margot Robbie, the wife of Roman Polanski, is a smiley feet-dangling side-show to Leo and Brad’s shenanigans. She is introduced as the unattainable love-interest, lusted after by blonde gods like Steve McQueen but faithful to her beloved Polanski. We are waiting for her to be brought into the Tarantino action, like a Thurman, to bathe the baddies in blood, but she remains protected, innocent, like a doodle daydream in the margins. Why? Does Leo really get the girl in the end? He’s invited into her house and seems pleased – but maybe it’s just because it brings him closer to getting that Polanski part he’s always dreamed of.
Tarantino has not only cut but changed what really happened in the end. Those of you who are 70, you already know the twist, you know who Sharon Tate was and how she, her unborn child and 4 other house guests were mercilessly murdered by the Manson cult members in what was labelled “the most horrific crime in modern history”, in Polanski’s own house. Why has Tarantino changed this? It feels right, it feels good, to see the evil doers go up in laughable flames, to feel the trauma averted, healed. The hippies are bad, but their evil is left at a superficial level, they are overcome, unlike the truth of the gory Manson murder. Tarantino explains, in his interview with Empire:

“I was just getting ready to do a deep dive, and all of a sudden I was just like, ‘Let me stop before I get started on this – do I really want to let the Manson family into my head, into my psyche? Do I really want to think about where they were all coming from?”
And so he didn’t. I wonder how Polanski feels, in his exile, maybe he is pleased to see the trauma erased, to see what might have happened in a better scenario, see the past rewritten. Or maybe he is angry at the near-farce of Tarantino’s horror, at the uncanny reimagining of his long-lost wife and unborn child.

Tarantino’s offering comes out with a couple of other films to mark the anniversary of Tate’s demonic murder. And for the first time her family have spoken out about it.

As someone going into the film without any idea who she was and how she died, I would have left it none the wiser, were it not for my mother filling me in. Now I do know, I find the absence of her death in the film a fitting memorial, leaving her spirit undisturbed, allowing it peace and safety, if not in reality, at least in the collective consciousness, which must surely be a good thing?

The other side of Florence

As a student in Bologna I made a few trips to this capital of renaissance opulence, bobbing up for air in cool basilicas before plunging into palazzo after palazzo, packed closely with more art than I could chew in a lifetime, let alone a day, before sinking into a bowl of something starchy somewhere shady, off the deeply beaten tourist track that circles Brunelleschi’s egg-topped duomo.

Now in my 33rd July, I’m pleased to be back in Florence with a little more time. I recommend you give Florence at least 3 days – enough to let it introduce itself to you in its own time. I’m not one for these prescribed “36 hours in” tours, which tie you to your map and your intention on getting there, missing the joys of happenstance. Cities like Florence, with so much to see and eat everywhere, are designed to be eaten whole, from seed to peel.

My favourite quarter is on the other side if the river,  L’Oltrano, across the river from the Uffizi and duomo , near the miles of box hedges in the Boboli gardens. Here, on the other side, is space and peace broken only by mouthwatering artisanal markets and brilliant buskers . Also, in seeming homage to the statue of Abundance (L’Abbondanza) that surveys this quarter from the top of the Boboli estate , there’s not a street or piazza without a place to feast on beef and udon-like ‘pici’, gnocchi, bean stew, wild boar and all manner of Tuscan treats, finished off with a basket of edifying almond-packed Cantuccini biscuits steeped in soul-affirming Vin Santo.

 

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Where was I? Ah si si, the other side of Florence’s  river Arno, bridged by the ancient, tourist-heavy jewellery arcade that is the Ponte Vecchio, joint equal with Venice’s Rialto, the most touristed bridge in Europe and possibly the world. As if by magic the tourist flow dissipates once you cross over, with the duomo behind you, as the Oltrarno’s network of clear streets welcomes you into its confidence. 

Here you’ll find a couple of palazzos now turned into public museums and art collections,  time capsules created by the 18th and 19th century aristocratic ‘grand’ tourists and later “cognoscenti”. Here you’ll also find the piazzas of Santas Spirito and Croce. The former is perhaps my favourite square in Florence. Its beauty is not it’s ornate medieval-renaissance architecture, that forms merely the stage – it’s the players: Florentines, students, immigrants, all milling about, lining the long steps outside the Basilica of Santo Spirito, letting the stirring of the busking dancers and musicians fan their ‘discorsi’ in the gently simmering dusk.

 

Santo Spirito

 There’s a 15th century convent on this square that the Catholic church have obligingly allowed to become a lovely hotel, each room blessed with its own character and heavenly views over the city. There’s one with a bathroom that looks like there’s a romantic painting of the cathedral on the wall, until you realise it’s actually a window with the best view in Florence. I’ll never forget having a shower, looking out into this with the evening sun and breeze flowing through the window, mingling with the smell of gorgeously cheesy opera music wafting up from the Piazza below.

Room with a view

Hopelessly sentimental I know, but Italy does this to you, it’s very hard not to be lost in ‘sentimentalità’ here. I have a friend who is one of the rare breed of non-Italians who have managed to penetrate the impenetrable ancient world of the Florentine artisan. What I wouldn’t give to have a little garret  in Piazza Santo Spirito and have a pastry and espresso under the trees before making my way to my cave-like workshop in a dusty side-street to work diligently and thoughtfully on an altar piece or a memorial stone of pietra dura, carving different stones into animals and crests and flowers before stopping for a beautifully simple lunch somewhere delicious and affordable

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But back to reality and London frenzy we Londoners must go, thanking Italy for yet another beautiful city of art, love and of course, food. Here are some of the places I love in Florence. If you spot them, bene, if you don’t, bene, you will no doubt find your own treasures. The only thing I would recommend above all, is to stay in the converted covent in Piazza Santo Spirito, formerly known as Convent of the Sorelle Bandini (Bandini Sisters), now Hotel Palazzo Guadagni.

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Review of Dunkirk

On leaving the cinema, I felt moved and a little seasick after 2 hours in Nolan’s stylishly be-washed version of the Dunkirk evacuation. Looking back, however, I do think he missed quite a few tricks. More sea and sky than man and action. And the dialogue? Sparse, garbled and inaudible. Tom Hardy’s aviator goggles will probably get the Oscar for looking up…Then down…Then up… Perplexed yet calm.

Branagh and Rylance get their teeth stuck in, no question, but the screenplay doesn’t give them so much as a tin of spam to chew on. Lank grey scenes lap the repetitive sinking-ship action, as each new batch of grey extras topple off the decks. One or two figures form a bond and are distinguished from the crowd with a few close ups, but we’re given little to latch on to.

The rich tapestry of Dunkirk stories that could have populated the shores of both France and Britain, are not here – The tales within and behind the queues for boats, the tales of heroism from the civilian seamen from other side, are carried solely in Mark Rylance’s father-son skiff team, splashes of colour in desperate need of background.

The scale of the recovery feat, termed ‘The Miracle of Dunkirk’, the sheer number of men and the relatively small number of tiny boats that ferried them all back, (over 300,000 men in only 700 brave boats, back and forth, in just over a week) did not come across, visually or mentally.

It would be interesting to ask the veteran rescuers if they think Nolan did the scale of their efforts justice. Perhaps they weren’t the focus he was after. But, of all the lenses he could have put over Dunkirk, it seems to me he chose a very obvious one and lost the chance to distinguish Dunkirk from other war films.

What was unique about Dunkirk and why it is now known as ‘The Miracle of Dunkirk’ was that it demonstrated human capacity for hope and fearless altruism, en masse, collectively.  Not the old story, tired and tested in every war film – man saves men.  This one could have been different – hundreds of ordinary people of various ages and both sexes, getting up and going, against all odds, for the greater good, at the last minute, together. Rylance’s civilian voice was good but it could never be broad enough to hold all that water. Nolan needed to scale up the message. It would have been a timely one.

Further reading

That said – Nolan’s Dunkirk has done a good job in whetting my appetite for Dunkirk, or at least what ended up in the editing room floor.

‘Dunkirk, the History behind the motion picture’

‘The Little Ships of Dunkirk’

‘The Little Ships’ (tale for your little ones not lucky enough to be able to sit on great-grand-parents’ knees,  told from a girl’s perspective)